I’ve been having a year. It’s been a good year for my writing career. It’s been a bloody awful year on a personal level.
During this last week, I’ve been on a bit of a cleaning jag. I just found my birthday card from last year. Signed by my late mother.
Yep. Crying again.
Over the past few days, I’ve been hit with the cleaning and gardening bug. I guess spring cleaning is a thing? I’ve put in a new garden, for more vegetables and herbs. I may remove the lavenders from the other vegetable garden as they are taking over. But they are doing so well…
On Monday, it seemed to me that everwhere I looked, my house was grubby. Not filthy, but just not clean enough, particularly my kitchen. Now the kitchen is much cleaner, the baby seedlings that have sprouted are planted out and we have to hope the cat doesn’t sit or pee on them. I’ve dusted. Tomorrow I plan on vacuuming and washing the floors.
Now … what does this have to do with writing? My extra energy levels have also flowed into my muse. I’m feeling the process flowing more smoothly, whereas I was having a hard time writing anything at all last week. Maybe seeing everything growing and blossoming has inspired me. We’ve had the first crop of the beans and the leafy greens from the garden, and I can see all the baby tomatoes (I’m salivating all ready), and the eggplants are flowering.
And, even though my lungs are still a little congested, they are better than they were, even with the pollen count to infinity. Now, all we need is rain … for my plants. My muse needs some refreshment too, but the gardening is certainly helping there. I find growing things a creative process.
I’ve just sent off my first submission for October. As regular readers of this blog will know, I aim to send off ten to twelve stories and articles a month. My goal is 100 rejection a year, from July to July. Since the death of my mother in June, I’ve been averaging four submissions a month.
Do I try to make up for lost time?
I know the answer to that. Pushing myself too hard backfires, making me sleep poorly.
I’m kind of disappointed in myself, for being so physically weak. I’m fat. I’m middle-aged and heading towards old age. I have asthma and diabetes. Some of those limitations are only going to get worse.
However, I can make the effort to get 10 stories submitted this month. But I will not beat myself up if I don’t make that goal. I’ve got to work smarter, not harder. Work to my strengths. Keep my enthusiam high by remembering my achievements and not dwelling on the failures.
Time to shake off these negative thoughts and feelings and get my head back in the game.
Well, I’ve learnt an important lesson. Don’t try to push through with no juice. I did get the first draft written and it is sort of okay. However, I spent the night too wired too sleep.
So, today I’ve had to jolly myself along. Oh, we’re in the bathroom to pee, might as well have a shower. You’ve got your hair wet, might as well wash it. Gosh, it is just as easy to put on day clothes than put the PJs back on. Hey, if you don’t water the seedlings, they’ll die … and since you’re outside, might as well water the rest of the plants.
So, the take-away here is not to push too hard. Because I really do feel wrung out today!